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The F.A.T. and why you should avoid it

Avoid the shorts/knickers crime this summer

I love when people take risks when dressing: trying on a new colour, choosing a different shaped jacket, experimenting with fun accessories and so forth.  I understand that when one tries to dress a bit more creatively, one might not always get it right. Never mind, I say, as long a fashion mistake is due to the offenders’ ignorance and it is not offensive for the rest of us.

But I can almost never forgive vulgarness when expressed in  F.A.T. dressing.

What is F.A.T. one might ask? F.A.T. my lovelies is the acronym of the Fiercely Awful Trend. When someone chooses to follow a trend, i.e. hot pants, the trend automatically becomes a F.A.T. when the person who is wearing them: a. decides to buy a pair that is too small for them it looks uncomfortable, b. does not have the legs for them, or c. thinks of it as another form of underwear than one can wear on the street.

Summer is the season for F.A.T. crimes. Just the other day I was on a short tube ride and minding my business. However, in the 15-minute ride, I witnessed the following F.A.T. offences, which I couldn’t help but notice:

–       A ‘Voluptuous woman’ (to borrow a term from fashion guru Gok) wearing a T-shirt over sheer tights instead of leggings. Why, why, why?

–       A guy with the expression on his face ‘I am godsend to womankind’, donning tight jeans featuring an arrow detail around the zipper area, which was directly pointing at his godsend/stuffed crotch. P-l-e-a-se…

–       A silver  ‘cougar-type’ lady, whose orange tinted wobbly thighs were indecently exposed in a micro-mini, which only a teenage girl could only wear in style. We even saw her knickers when the train made a fast turn. Ew!

As you can imagine, I was in shock and was about to reach out for my mobile to call up Fashion Police. Luckily for the offenders the tube arrived at my station and I got off  the train… But next time I will definitely place that call.

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